Just Another Magic Monday

It all starts again tomorrow


After all the planning (well a 15 minute chat with the Swan and a 5 minute phone call to trail finders), I’m finally here Things didn’t start so good, an hour plus delay from Heathrow left me wondering if I would make the connecting flight from Singapore and my co travelers (the bloke on my left and the old dear on my right) were less than impressed when the seat between them they thought would be empty was to be filled by the last remaining passenger to enter the plane, moi.

On these long haul flights I like to establish early that any breaking of the long haul flight rules will not be tolerated. The whippersnapper on my left broke the 'elbow space' rule over Paris; but by Rome I had ‘inadvertently’ given him a nudge in the ribs whilst opening my blanket and let him know I wasn’t to be messed with.
The England supporters who sat behind me were spared no mercy either as during dinner they got a bit raucous, so as dessert was being served I slipped the chair back resulting in a little angel delight accident but it had the desired effect.

I eventually landed in Perth and was met by 3 of my relatives and taken to my cousins Jason’s house by his wife Tina. It’s a great pad, I have my own room with double bed but the most exciting feature of the house for me is the games room, containing dart-board, card table but the pièce de résistance? Only a blooming pool/snooker table, superb! J and Tina’s 13 year old son Josh has been getting lots of practice on how to replace the black on its spot, ha-ha!


The first few days were all about adjusting to the time, customs and environment, by that I mean no sleep inns, which beer to buy and the heat.
My first proper night out was on Saturday when after dinner at a Japanese restaurant with my cousin Belinda we met up with Jason and Tina and headed to the casino. I was informed by Jason that Perth has a little casino that has a couple of bars and where you can play some poker, it was actually a huge Vegas style casino/resort with the most fantastic 5-10 no limit hold-em game one could play in (whenever anyone mentions how good a game they were in was it means of course that they lost, I was no exception). Pots totaling a thousand bucks were routinely being won with no pair, “Jack High” a player would shout, “That’s good” was often the reply. My uncle Patrick, Jason’s father and his wife Irene also met us for a few scoops before retiring home for a well earned kip.


Sunday, woke up at ten; Cousin Jay has the Bar-b going to fix us all egg and bacon mcmufins. Ten thirty and he’s off to warm up for his baseball match. Twelve thirty Belinda picks up both Josh and I, we go to watch the game, the sun screens on and I’m raring to go. First port of call obviously is the bar where two beauties from the ‘ladies team’ that played earlier (they lost) are now running the show. I explain my mission to try every Aussie beer in the house and I am accommodated in fine style and meet a beer I think I’m going to have a special relationship with over the next few weeks, Toohey’s premium, otherwise known as ‘Teddies’



After the beers are purchased the 3 of us sit down and watch the match from just behind the catcher making it a far more entertaining spectacle than I would have imagined.
There’s sadly no scrap but highlight is chatting to the scorers who like the bar staff are players from the ladies team that got beaten earlier.
I inadvertently insulted the boyfriend of one of the scorers when I commented how baseball was a great game “because even fat people can play it” and it may have been wrong of me to teach me 13 year old cousin the art of chatting up women without his mother’s permission but I think it was my duty as an older male relative and he soon got to grips with it, in fact by the end of the 4th innings we had worked up a nice little repartee, I was the introducer, he played the little boy lost role and then I came in for the close; young Joshua may be coming to Thailand with me if the hit rate continues at this pace.
The day was rounded off with a bus load of us all eating and drinking at a local Aussie restaurant.



Monday, glorious glorious Monday, what a day. It began with Belinda picking me up and then us making our way to the port to catch a ferry to Rottnest Island, an island 19km off the coast of Perth, 11 kilometres long, 4.5 kilometres at its widest point, home to 63 secluded beaches, 20 bays and the indigenous Quokka







A Quokka, you will only find these little fella's in Rottnest




We missed the 9.30am so went for breakie at the nearest café where I spotted one of my all time sporting heroes, Michael Vaughan sipping an orange juice on his own; not for long.


Legend

I was hesitant as I’m sure he’s bothered all the time but how many other chances am I going to get to meet one the greats and thank him for last years victory. I introduced myself and began by asking him if there was any chance of him playing in the current series.

He immediately gestured for me to sit and began a conversation that I will never forget as long as I live, I was much like a teenage girl getting to meet Take That.
He explained he was fit to play and in fact he made no secret of the fact of how pissed he was that he “wasn’t being allowed to play”. I didn’t ask whom wasn’t allowing him to play but I imagined it was the doctors, “Baffling” was his comment about it all.
We talked about Monty, he said he thought England had to go for it and play both spinners, “Might as well lose 3-0 and go down fighting”. We discussed the ODI’s and he said he will be playing in them, I told him I would be in Melbourne to cheer him on, “Make sure I hear you” was his comment.
He was joined by a couple of people which I took as my cue to leave him but we shook hands and I wished him all the best. Belinda had no idea who he was but when I explained it all to her was she went into a spaz, phoned our uncle (who couldn’t give a toss) and asked if she should go for an autograph/picture. I said she shouldn’t as he shouldn’t be bothered whilst having brekkie but Belinda is her own lady and she came back with picture and autograph, good girl.

After all that excitement we headed for the ferry and sat at the back on our own and undisturbed where I began reading a newspaper until whom should sit down next to me, you guessed it, my new friend Michael. I was actually reading about him and offered him the piece to read, it was strange watching him read a piece about himself in front of me, dunno why just was. After he finished the article (which said he would play no part in the ashes, quoting him which he denied) we chatted a little longer until the two blokes who had joined him at brekkie sat down and that was that.
He really was a kind polite and pleasant person, it’s nice when someone you admire turns out also to be a top bloke and even though I had been unable to get any tickets for the Ashes in Perth (Belinda seriously suggested I should ask him for some, ha-ha) I had my ashes moment.


We hired bikes on the Island and cycled round occasionally stopping to snorkel and swim, the temperature was 32 with a pleasant breeze, does life get any better, well remarkably it did.
At lunchtime Belinda received a call from my uncle Patrick, he had managed to secure me and my friend Scott (from Stan James who is also over for the cricket though was also ticket less) 2 tickets for Thursday, Friday and Sunday as well as one ticket for me for Saturday. I did what any self respecting fan would do, I screamed, ran round the beach then jumped on top of Belinda screaming yessssssssssssss at the top of my voice. I didn’t give a monkeys what people thought, I’m gonna be there, i was overjoyed.
We ferried back without my new mate and headed to Uncle Patrick’s for my first (and definitely not my last) Aussie bar-b. Chicken, lamb chops, South African sausage, steaks, salad and beer. What a day, I went to sleep like a kid at Christmas after having got the best presents ever.


A small snack before bed


I needed to go to bed early because Tuesday was my time to repay cousin Jay a little for all the hospitality I have been shown.
Jay and Tina run a business selling and installing this and that but mostly clothes lines. Christmas is a particularly busy time for them and they had been let down by a sub contractor, it was time for this Pom to step up to the plate.
Had I known what I was about to let myself in for I might not have so readily offered my services but what the hell, I was here to experience new things and it gave me some quality time with Jay.
I was awoken at 6.30am on the road at 7 and digging holes by 7.30. Not only did the work involve digging holes it involved putting together washing lines from scratch, mixing concrete and plenty of sawing. I have worked on building sites before and one of the only things to look forward to was a cup of tea and a fag every couple of hours, not here. I’m still off the fags (one week, hurrah!) and it was to hot for tea (35) but I didn’t realise this meant no break at all.
I promise you we returned home at 20.45 and had not stopped once for a break, in fact when one job was cancelled meaning we could return home 45 minutes earlier than expected I cried a tear, I did, a little water seeped from my eyes, I thought I had been happy yesterday but when I heard him say, “fuck it mate, we’re done, lets get a beer for the journey home” the relief was to overwhelming.

More good news, the Swan is on his way to Western Oz at the end of the month another friend has expressed an interest in joining up in Melbourne and Action Dave has offered me a room in Melbourne for a few days so I won’t be on the streets immediately.


General Oz observations:
Food and weather are great

Aussie money is made of plastic and is impossible to tear, try it

People burp a lot and no one is offended by that

99% of Aussie’s actually want England to do well in Perth to keep the Ashes as a contest, I’m shocked at the amount of people who have commented “3-0 would be rubbish mate, pull your bloody Pommie fingers out yer arse and give us a game”, they genuinely mean it, they really don’t want a whitewash.

The women are a little more rotund than their European counterparts, like a beer and swear frequently, all of which I find incredibly arousing.


I slept like a trooper and have awoken this morning in fine fettle. Tonight we are going to Tina’s parents, Italians whom apparently can cook like no one else on earth, yummy.
Tomorrow I meet Scott for brekkie at 8am in an Irish pub 5 minutes from the Wacca which is serving a ‘Pommie breakfast’, a fry up and beer for ten dollars, let the carnage begin………


Tommorow at 11.00 i will be somewhere in here, hurrah!!