To Many Choices

Now that's Humour



Well we the crossbar with Garcia. He left so many shots out on the course it was a travesty he didn't win but what can you do, I copped on the place but at the 17th (the greatest par 5 in golf) he had a putt to take the lead and im sure certain victory but the pressure proved to much.
I saw him afterwards sitting on his own looking thoroughly pissed off so I couldn't bring myself to approach him and ask for the win part of my stake back. In fact it’s another reason to applaud Sergio; a lot of sportsmen these days are all smiles and handshakes after a defeat which as a punter is not something I like to see. If my selection loses I want him/her smashing up their equipment and calling everyone cunts, at least then you know they have had a go. Andy Murray like Garcia seems to be in that camp and so I might invest a few shillings on him to win something big next year, he definitely goes home and kicks the shit out of things when he doesn't win, a winner’s mentality I say.

Two good mates were over to watch the golf, 'The Swan' and Kevin made for a pleasant week and plenty of late nights, im starting to regret having discovered the late night haunt called the jazz bar or something like that.The chaps were as ever in great form, their punting ability and pisstaking are second to none and one has to be on ones toes when these jokers are in town. The Swans punting successes are legendary but Kevin's success rate with the Ladies compares favourably. This is a happily married bloke with children who swears he has never been unfaithful (I believe him) but who seems to get a buzz out of chatting up women which is fucking brilliant if you happen to be in his company and he spots a group of women. For instance at Billy's last week I made a rather feeble effort of chatting up an attractive young lady and had to bow out gracefully (before she told me to fuck off). Normally this would be the end of proceedings but in steps Kevin and within 30 minutes he had set up a date for me with her, marvellous stuff.

As I mentioned previously my time at Stanspoker has now ended the offers are coming in thick and fast. I have simply been overwhelmed with the response. The first offer was from my cousins to join them in Australia whilst the ashes are on. This was followed by an offer to join a mate of mine for a month in Thailand only to be counter offered by the proposal of a 2 week jaunt to Lanzarote with 5 mates of mine from Dublin.
The offer to go to Shanghai with the Swan also needs serious consideration though this conflicts with a trip to Goa with my mate Faiz unless I go straight to India from China. Im so fucking stupid im tempted to do the lot and suffer the consequences in February by which time any savings and my liver will be well and truly gone. Chances are I will end up on my settee for the next 6 months playing tiger woods 2007 on the play station but its nice to know people like my company ( I think its that, I hope its not the fact that they know I have a few quid spare and zero chance of saving it for anything sensible).

Of course I have had no job offers but I believe these days you actually have to apply for them. What happened to the good old days when you could rely on a phone call from a mate informing you of some company who were desperate for a man of your abilities and who were prepared to pay shed loads of money; maybe I have burnt too many bridges. I must make an effort to contact some companies but I really don't know what I want to do yet, other than be a professional golfer which im coming to understand is unlikely to happen.

No golf v the dragon last week but I did manage to sneak a round in at San Roque and I made another amazing discovery which could be the key to improving my golf game. If you don't go out the night before, drink lager/wine/vodka you play better. I could have saved fortunes by learning this before spending money on all sorts of fandango equipment and the odd 'How to play better golf' DVD. Il tell you how to play better, go to bed early, sober, eat breakfast and you will shoot 85 at the new course.

Another great discovery last week was that there is finally a decent Indian restaurant in LaLinea. The Golden something or other down by the Miramar hotel is to be strongly recommended to anyone who likes good service, great food and the magnificent, Cobra beer.


A friend and I were discussing the movies recently and he said I must watch Schindler's list but I would need a few tissues by my side. I watched it and for the life of me I don't know what he was on about, I couldn't possibly have a wank to any of that.

The above line is courtesy of Kevin who caught me out with it at the curry house, im still laughing typing it. He's a great bloke but I think I may have given him too much credit earlier, the 'date' never showed and I was left sucking my thumb. This of course is the second time I have been blown out in 2 days as the 'Irish Girls' (refer to previous post) are yet to book their flights, curses.
The only positive is that this left me clear to go to Alicante but I left it to late to book and that's now a non runner. CD (Chris Donnachie, my right hand man at Stanspoker) may have saved the day. He along with cohorts Vinny and Kenny are collecting a car at lunchtime tomorrow before heading off on a six hour drive to Benfica to watch the mighty hoops and it seems there is a spare seat. The alternative is golf against the dragon. Im going to watch both Stan James football teams play in Spain tonight which is normally followed by a serious session and following what I learned last week on how to play better golf maybe I should avoid a match against the dragon tomorrow, of the course the big danger is that I get blootered and wake up at 6pm tomorrow missing both opportunities; such is the life of an unemployed (or is that unemployable?) man.