Hosteling with the Prime Minister

Get In.......Yeahhhhhhhhhhhh

Russell Crowe, Skippy, crocodile Dundee, Mark Viduka, Rolf Harris and the two little boys, Danni Minogue, Kostya Tszyu, Harold from neighbors, your boys took a hell of a beating……………………………

Finally we did it and was it worth the wait? Yes I think it may well have been.
To beat Australia at anything is right up there, to beat them at cricket is better still, to beat them in a one day series with no form, a depleted side and on their patch is almost unbelievable but last Friday evening at the MCG I witnessed an outstanding fight back by England to beat the Aussies that will live long in the memory. Collingwood and Bell gave us a chance, Flintoff ably assisted and Badger helped us home. Salad days indeed. I sang and abused as many Australians as possible without the assistance of one alcoholic beverage (a first at a cricket match) and stayed right till the bitter end, even after the interviews to take pictures etc.


You Beauty!

To make matters even more surreal on Thursday I left our Melbourne apartment to go for a spot of luncheon and walked straight into the England team. They were outside the Hyatt hotel which was next door to our apartment and were waiting to get on the bus to take them training. I did what any English supporter would do and started chatting to them wishing them all the best. Who do you think I was chatting to? Give yourself a pat on the back if you said Paul Collingwood and Paul Nixon, bizarre.
The chaps even managed to seal the deal with another outstanding performance here in Sydney which has left every Aussie (according to the media) stunned. Apparently their world cup preparations are now in tatters and they may as well not bother going though I still wouldn’t bet against them. I of course was suitably gutted I didn’t bet England but 4’s from 6’s was not enough for me. Its been a long slog following England since Perth but finally I got my reward; all I need to do now is come back in 4 years to see us retain the ashes (yes retain not regain, come on England!)

Although I didn’t drink at the cricket that was only because I was suffering badly from the night before, the twenty something birthday of Superlise. It began as all good birthdays do, with champagne. We drank opened a bottle in the morning, finished it at lunchtime and got cracking into another one before heading off to Tim Henman’s favorite restaurant, Koko’s. Koko’s is a Japanese restaurant in the crown casino and also in attendance were Action, Amanda and Rafee. The meal began with champagne obviously followed by just about every type of seafood imaginable. There was also room for Kobe steak, chicken, red wine white wine and a chocolate birthday cake.



Koko's


After dinner it was time for super sized cocktails, the ones where you all get a straw and ‘ice cream head’ from drinking the icy slush too quickly. After these we headed back to Rafee’s flat where we were greeted by the widest man I have ever met. Sheriff is not only Rafee’s flat mate he’s also an ex Mr. Australia, I didn’t offer him an arm wrestle. Next to turn up was a nice lad called Tony who looked like the sort of bloke ubiquitous around poker rooms these days, a bit gaunt and red eyed but like I said a top fella. Action suggested a quick satellite and he must have known something because he proceeded to clean up. During the game it became obvious that Tony was none other than Tony Hatchem, brother of ex WSOP champion Joe and he kindly regaled us with stories about Joe’s victory and the parties afterwards. By 6am Superlise decided she could drink no more (until we got home anyway) and we retired after an exhausting day.


Tony, one of the good guys


To assist in paying for all these wonderful though expensive exploits on Wednesday I had happened to find myself in one of the easiest games of poker I have ever played in. 4 card Omaha is not only my favorite game it’s a game I think I can play reasonably well, having said that you only had to be able to count to ten in this game to win. For example in one hand by the time the last card was rivered I had the best possible hand, the nuts as its known. With 4 other players in the pot I had to think how much to bet in order to get called by 1 non believer. There was approx 300 dollars in the middle, after a while I decided to bet 250, it went pass call call. When I turned over my hand the two players who had called screwed their faces up in shock and both questioned me with the same words, “the nuts?” They simply couldn’t believe it, marvelous stuff.

Saturday night was our last party night and so Action Amanda and Rafee all turned out for a bender I St.Kilda where we hit the club scene with aplomb. Cocktails and various other beverages were consumed which enabled us all to dance till about 8am before some of us hit the beach and some hit the long road home. Sunday night was spent enjoying watching England destroy Australia over a bottle of bubbles.
Sydney was the next port of call. We had decided to ‘hostel’ it in Sydney but on Tuesday of last week it came to my attention that Sydney is in the middle of the city’s ‘Gay Celebrations’. I knew it held a massive parade in March I didn’t realize it all started on the 1st of Feb. Of course as soon as Action Dave found out he had a wail of a time scaring me senseless. “You’ll be sharing a dormitory with 7 Freddie Mercury look-alike’s” etc etc, “Bugger off” I relied, “Sod you” said he and so it continued. By Saturday I was beginning to have reservations about the whole hostel thing, Superlise was too; which may help explain why we decided to rent an apartment which is opposite and overlooking the bridge and the Opera house.



And on the top floor

We have rented an apartment on the little island of Kirribilli which is our next door neighbor is one ‘John Howard’; he is also the Australian prime minister. I’m not going to say how much it is per week; rather it’s more expensive than 2 chastity belts and a hell of a lot more comfortable.
I awoke this morning to the well known picture postcard view and proceeded to have breakfast on the balcony again just staring at the view (all naked btw, Superlise was out and I felt like letting it all hang out). I was in Sydney 4 years ago and every day I was here I went and looked at the bridge and opera house, it’s stunning. Also managed to hop around a few places on the ferries already and managed to get sunburned in the process, honestly 5 fucking minutes here without sun block and your cooked.
Plenty planned for the rest of the week, The Swan kindly emailed me a ‘things to see in Sydney list’ and I also want to take in some sport, cricket at the SCG and a Rugby Union game would be nice but for now I better go, I want to have a word with my new neighbor and see if he can give me any advice on how to extend my visa which runs out in 2 weeks. If he doesn’t help me he better like the Kings of Leon and The Killers because that’s what he will be hearing blaring from our stereo all night long for the rest of the week.