Breakfast With The Federer's

Back at the Crown

It’s been a budget busting few days but hey, I’m on holiday right?

It all started last week with a road trip with my good friend ‘The Swan’. We hired a car and took off to Margaret River, Western Australia’s premium wine growing region. We managed to get lucky and get a room in this most popular of areas. The first evening we decided a small splash out on a decent dinner was the order of the day so again we got lucky by booking the last table in the town’s most prestigious restaurant, vat107. The food was delicious as was the wine, which set up the following days plan quite nicely, a wine tasting day. We finished the evening in a karaoke bar (The Swan’s idea) before opting for a reasonably early night; we had a big day ahead of us.

The day started with a hearty breakfast of eggs and bacon, one can never line the stomach enough before a wine tasting adventure. The Swan is a veteran of such day’s but I was a first timer, a novice if you will and although I had spent approx 25 years preparing for this day, even I was taken aback when our most excellent host Kim opened proceedings with the immortal words “today you will drink approximately 60 glasses of wine”, this line was delivered at 11am; it was going to be a good day.

Our first port of call was Xanadu vineyard where the lady who was our guide explained the way to taste wine, how to pour it, prepare it, store it, bottle it, swirl it and just about everything else. What surprised me was the fact we tasted 8 wines, 3 white 2 rose and 3 red moving from lightest to strongest. It was early and fortunate that I realized I better make good use of the spittoon and free water if I was going to last the whole day.

After Xanadu we headed to a local producer who decided 8 wines was really not enough and that he better add in a few port tastings as well, good man. The ports were marvelous and the spittoon stayed dry as the group knocked back drink after drink. The last stop before lunch was at the Voyager estate that is famous around these parts for its lavishness. It’s owned by a teetotaler which I found amusing and is also home to the 2nd largest Australian flag in the world. After in taking all that information it was time for more wine.

After the tasting we were ushered into the dinning room for an exquisite lunch consisting of oysters, salmon, veal, cheeses and of course more wine. It was at lunch that the group bonded and I got to know Brent & Laura, Justin & Renee, Liz & Liam, Alex & Kat and Hugh & Sandra. We all got on famously well which added immensely to the day. The lunchtime banter was assisted by the addition of more wine courtesy of the Swan; Kim finally managed to get us out of there and to the next vineyard. The wine as flowing now and they may as well have not bothered with the spittoon; no one was wasting any of the wine.

Kim informed us the part of the journey would take 20-25 minutes, to long without a drink for a wine sodden group such as ourselves so we asked Laura to ask Kim to stop so we could get some more booze. He was rather bamboozled by our shenanigans but looked on amusedly as we all tucked into the bottles of beer we had purchased. He commented later that he had never encountered a group that had wanted to stop half way to get more alcohol, something I think we were all very proud off.

More vineyards, more wine, more laughter followed by more beer and the final destination, a stop at a chocolate factory. Kim was either on a kick back from the factory or had been threatened by Sandra to take us there, I cannot think of any other reason we would have gone there, I suppose he may have thought that we had had enough to drink by then. The day of course was far from over, we were all having way to much fun to stop, we instructed Kim to drop us off at the best boozer in town and though sadly Hugh & Sandra and Liz and Liam had to go, the rest of us drank in their honor. Liz and Liam had the distinction of being the 2nd couple I had met to have got married in a vineyard; Laura and Brent being the first; these were smart people we were mingling with.

At the bar things were slowly getting messy. Mojhitois were ordered though I commendably stuck to my rule of no spirits on this trip, so I nursed beers whilst the others wandered into a cocktail frenzy. Friendships were made, numbers, business cards and email addresses exchanged. The end of the evening saw Alex Kat Brent the Swan and I, absolutely leathered and ordering one last drink. The Swan decided him and Brent were going to enjoy a tipple of his favourite whiskey, a Macallans, in fact he ordered doubles which in hindsight was a mistake, Brent didn’t like whiskey so he had to drink them both himself, it didn’t do him any favours the next day.

The following day we journeyed to Warpole to see my Auntie Francis and her partner Rod. Auntie Francis loves a good laugh and is a bundle of joy. Even emergency brain surgery late last year couldn’t curtail her though it knocked her smoking and drinking. Our family has a hereditary aneurysm problem and Francis nearly joined a long line of our family who have passed away as a result of the aneurysm not being detected but an emergency flight into Perth hospital saved the day, and my favourite Aunt. I’m pleased to report even though she can no longer enjoy a tipple or a grout she was still in top form.
We gossiped, went for walks, did the treetop walk and generally made each other laugh, which is what she is all about. The Swan seemed to enjoy it also though when Rod had us both logging in the forest at 7am the next morning after pretending we were going fishing I’m not sure how happy he was (hilariously he was wearing about a monkeys worth of lacoste clobber that doesn’t react well to being covered in sawdust). A great time had by all and I’m looking forward to going back to see her at some point.

Next up, a fabulous leaving do meal with Jay and Tina at one of Perth’s finest restaurants, it was the least I could do after the incredible hospitality they have shown me. My family has been so good to me on this trip its overwhelming, especially as I can be a complete twat sometimes.

Last Thursday we arrived in Melbourne and the following day we indulged in a little wager at 9-2 of the Christians to beat the lions, or England versus Australia. In hindsight the Christians would stand a better chance of defeating a lion. Still after that debacle the Swan came up trumps with a couple of tickets to the 3rd 4th place match and final at the Kooyong tennis. The runner up match was between Andy Murray and Marit Saffin (victory for Murray) and the final between Andy Roddick and one Roger Federer (Roddick won). We actually bumped into the finalists on their way to centre court, something that was to happen again later in the week. The games were awesome and our seats more so. For 15 quid we sat about 15 rows behind the server/returner and watched 4 of the world’s greatest tennis players.


They keep following me

After the tennis we enjoyed more fine wine, more fine dining and more partying. The Aussie Millions is on at the crown this week and many old friends and enemies are in town so it was good to catch up with them. One definite friend we caught up with yesterday was one Willie Tann, the legend himself.


Even Federer obeys Willie

A few years ago there was a game called 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon, in it you could relate every Hollywood actor to Kevin Bacon through films he had done. Well you could play this game in the gambling world with Willie, he simply knows everyone, from the prime minister of Singapore to the bloke murdering 50 bucks on a pokies at the crown.
He never fails to make me laugh due to the plethora of tales anecdotes and philosophies he recites. Today’s was “there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel and it’s always an oncoming train’.

Willie is full of energy and has been around the gambling game as long as most, if it wasn’t for his illness (dice) he would have got the lot and kept the lot years ago. Willie also is a big fan of a freebie and the crown did their best to extend the level of free luxury that Willie is used to. This explains how the Swan Action Dave King Richard and I all ended up at breakfast this morning in the crystal room after being invited by Willie.
The breakfast was good and the views of Melbourne from the penthouse floor private restaurant were staggering but I found our breakfast companions most interesting. Obviously Phil Ivey was going to be there but I didn’t expect Andy Roddick to be sat next to me chatting away to James Blake. When Roger Federer came in with his missus it almost seemed normal but they say always leave the best till last and when the next star entered the room I fell silent.
You’re a million to guess and most of you won’t know her if you’re not interested in golf but Michelle Wie is a living legend and the female Tiger Woods. Only 16 now at 14 she missed the cut in a men’s golf event by one shot, at 14! She sat down next to our table with her parents and endured me gawping at them for a time. More here edited from wikapedia

In 2002, Wie won the Hawaii Open Women's Division by thirteen shots. She became the youngest player to qualify for an LPGA event A year later, she became the youngest player ever to make a cut in a LPGA event at the Kraft Nabisco. Wie earned an historic victory at the Women's Amateur Public Links tournament, becoming the youngest person ever (male or female) to win a USGA event for adults. In 2004 Wie became only the fourth female, and the youngest ever, to play in an event on the PGA Tour, at the Sony Open in Hawaii. She shot 72-68 to finish at even par, but missed the cut by one stroke. That year, Wie was named to the U.S. team for the 2004 Curtis Cup and became the youngest woman ever selected to the play as the U.S. team went on to win.

Other than the usual tittle tattle there is a big story taking place here in Melbourne which is going to be the talk of the poker world for a few months. I cannot go into details presently as I know the people concerned and I’m sure they wouldn’t appreciate me banging on about here but it’s caused a whirlwind of gossip, accusation, scandal and involves over a million bucks. To prove it one of the tennis players was even discussing in openly at breakfast, intriguing stuff with more to come I’m sure.

Well all the excitement aided the digestion of a tasty breakfast. Afterwards we got in the lift and who should jump in last minute but Mr. Federer again. Willie being Willie decided to ask him if he was going to win, a shy Federer answered that he would try his best. Willie is a punters punter and loves to have an edge so this answer was clearly not enough for him, “But are you going to win the whole thing Roger?” We all knew Willie was contemplating a huge wager depending of Federer’s answer. “I promise I will be trying my best “ a now laughing Federer answered and was only saved from a more in depth grilling from Willie as Chris Jesus Ferguson entered our lift and took Willies attentions. We all wished Roger the best though at least 3 of us were wishing him the best if Murray doesn’t win it.

Last night we had been at the opening day of the Australian Open and had courtside tickets for the evening matches provided courtesy of Mansion gravy train.com. Action Dave and I decided wisely that we should try and blag seats nearer the front and the closer we got to the front the braver we became. It ended with him and I sitting ringside next to the coaches, trainers, family and girlfriends of Marit Safin and Benjamin Becker who provided us with an entertaining 5 set thriller. Today we go to cheer on Andy Murray and blag a ringside seat at the Leyton Hewitt match and hopefully I will be able to find a cure for a recurring problem I have been having lately, namedroppingitiss.



Keep practising Michelle, one day you might be as good as me