Happy Grazing Day

A small starter to begin with

Well the meal was everything it promised to be and just a little more.


The festivities started in earnest on Christmas Eve when Cousin Jay held a lunch for members of the family. The key here was not to eat too much or get too pissed as we had an evening meal at Uncle Patrick's. I coped admirably at one rule and failed miserably at the other, you will have to guess which one.
I spoke to Mum for the first time since I got here which was great and also had the novelty of being able to wake her up, a rare family moment.

Christmas began as it does in most houses, the exchanging of gifts; I got an England hat, some tee-shirts, a pair of Aussie socks (unworn as yet) and a very useful Australian Cork Hat. The corks are to keep off flies whilst one is in the bush which is useful as that is exactly where I am going tomorrow for a few days.

Anyway after the exchanging of goods it was off to Tina's Italian parents, Connie and Joe for a very different type of Christmas meal. There were 15 of us in total all looking forward to the culinary extravaganza that was to follow.

It began with the Italian pastries, nuts, toasted almonds, pistachio nuts, shortbreads and chocolates. I had taken good advice from young cousin Josh, "don't eat any of it, save yourself for the main courses", he was right. Along with the nibbles came the aperitif’s that consisted of beer, punch and whisky and here I hadn’t been advised to hold back so I promptly got stuck in. An hour or so after arrival we sat down at the table to begin the feast.



A slightly bigger starter


First up was antipasto, salami, ham, Parma ham, mozzarella, smoked mozzarella, gherkin, 3 types of olive, freshly baked bread, peppers, more cheeses and more importantly the wine.
I was quaffing away and telling Joe how tasty the wine from 'Margaret River' I was drinking was, he merely gave me a bemused look. Joe makes his own wine both red and white and the bottles were just being used to hold his own home made organically grown produce; I can honestly say his white was guzzle-some. I may not be a wine connoisseur but I know a good one from a bad un and this stuff was up there with the best. He's retired now but his occupation was as a fruit and vegetable merchant, growing his own produce, including grapes used solely to make his own wine, I was bowled over.



Paul likes wine.

Next up was the 'Star of the Show', the Connie special and the course that everyone had told me about. My sis and brother in law had been here and eaten it, my Mother, many Uncles and Aunts, Cousin Jay, Cousin Josh had all explained but nothing really prepares you for it, the lasagne.


The Star


Words fail me so I won't bother trying other than to say i have never tasted anything like it, it was simply wonderful. Not only was it terrific but it was incredibly filling so Connie prepared a much lighter course for us to eat next.


Even Homer would have struggled


I thought the roast turkey was perhaps a little more than was necessary so you can understand the look of surprise on my face when a roasted joint of pork and all the trimmings accompanied it. I struggled through ably assisted by Joe's home made red and suspected we were reaching the finishing line though it wouldn’t have altogether been a shock had Connie lit the barbecue and asked how we wanted out t-bones done.




Be silly not to have it really....

Deserts were next and though I was full and have lost my childhood sweet tooth I made an exception, the wares on offer were just to tempting. Chocolate cakes, cheesecakes and Christmas cake were all there



Only a small slice of what was on offer.


Joe has spent his life growing and selling food whilst his wife seems to have devoted her life to turning it into a tasty a meal as possible, so who was I to argue when Joe said the best way to assist food digestion is with a small espresso and a large whisky.

The temperature outside was mid 30's, luckily Joe and Connie had a pool so after the whisky I jumped in and hoped the coronary I fully deserved would wait until later. We mucked about, drank ice cold beer, swam and sun-bathed, napped and played sudoku (at which I officially suck), this was followed by more beer, more swimming and more larking about in the pool, then napping, reading, more beer, more frolic’s in the pool until finally we all watched the sun set and the stars begin to shine.


Next Course, eat up!

We hadn’t eaten for 4 hours so obviously Joe sparked the barbecue and we were overloaded with Steaks, chicken, sausage, lamb chops, salads, breads and lashings of wine. Did I mention Joe also makes his own port? The night began to take on a slighlty 'fuzzy' feel at this stage.

Somehow I got through it all and by the time more espresso and more whisky arrived I was mildly euphoric. I ended up arm wrestling Joe (not the smartest move, arm wrestling a man with bigger muscles than Tyson), kissing Connie (a very smart move though one should try to avoid attempting this in front of her husband) and generally having fun.
Spoke to my family in Ireland and then spent the rest of the evening conversing in Italian to Joe, or ‘Giuseppe’ to give him his real name. I of course did not realise I could speak Italian, its amazing what home made wine can do. Being the generous host and wanting to improve my Italian, Joe kindly gave me a 5 litre bottle of home made white as a gift.

The following morning and it was pretty much the same again, pastries, bacon, home produced eggs, sausage, toast, croissants with jam, chocolates, juices and lashings of espresso, thankfully without whisky though worryingly I was offered some.

We came home to enjoy the cricket; well the Aussies in the family enjoyed it anyway. Afterwards we went to ‘Spillage’ park (scene of my last century) for more cricket, this time 13 year Josh was accompanied by older, stronger and extremely more dangerous relative, Cousin Jason. Many highlights, my first 50 was up there, so was my second 50 but the best bit was when they called stumps as I was unbeaten on 68 and looking to rewrite the record books, ha-ha.

It was a marvellous Christmas and unforgettable Christmas day, a once in a lifetime experience that I had wished for when I booked this trip. It was everything I thought it would be and then a little more, much like the amount of food Connie insisted on serving us.



this photo was taken after lunch you will have to guess which one is me.