This Sporting Life

Boylepoker accept its time to have promotional staff after 6 months of intensive negotiations. The fat one in the middle may struggle to get work in the future.


It’s been a hectic time recently what with my 6 month appraisal at work and attending various sporting events, all recorded here so that when the brain damage kicks in the kind people at the nursing home can read my diary back to me.

The Marathon

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending the wedding of one of my oldest friends from the world of gambling, one Tim ‘Albi’ Amos.
All the chaps who have made their way in life through gambling were in attendance and put on the same table; I have shared a flat at one time or other with all of them so it was great to see ‘He who is blessed’ & the lovely Katie; Neil ‘Bad-Beat’ Channing, Lawrence ‘The paperboy’ Robjent; Keith ‘The Camel’ Hawkins & family and finally Alex ‘The Gent’ Goldie.

With that line-up I couldn’t fail to have a good day and so it proved. Things started well, Albi’s last words before he walked down the aisle were to the Paperboy on his mobile phone (he was lost somewhere close to the barn where the ceremony was taking place).

“I’ve got to go Laurence I’m just about to get married”.

Albi duly took the long walk, Katherine his bride to be had just completed her long walk to the alter when stage right the Paperboy burst in red faced, grinning like a buffoon and flapping around like a beached fish at the alter until he spotted a seat at the back. The chuckling from our section was kept as minimal as was possible.

The speeches dragged on as they do but we all were politely listening when, quite unexpectedly the Father of the Bride came out with the most inappropriate joke I have ever heard at a wedding. The only noise you could here as he was being dragged away from the microphone by his shocked family was the sound of He who is blessed and I literally falling off our chairs laughing.

There followed a most magnificent best man speech and a tremendous luncheon all washed down by bucket loads of decent French white.
Bad Beat had to fly off to Monte Carlo, Laurence and I had to get shit faced. We all danced and were merry; the night passed by all too quickly and unsurprisingly it was worth making the effort rather than staying in and watching the masters.

Albi is man of many worlds. He’s got 2 degree’s, went to Oxford and Cambridge, used to play pub quiz machines for a living and has been a very successful professional gambler. He’s been on and won blockbusters, university challenge and 15 to 1. He’s just about the smartest person I know (though he negated that by getting married). I do of course sincerely wish him and wife all the very best.

Horse riding

As mentioned I have now just completed my first 6 months at Boylepoker and its been mostly fun (for me at least). The job has its downside but it’s mostly good, something like 80-20 I would say. I am jockeying to make it more 95-5. My boss and I have a pari-mutual respect for each other which helps enormously, considering I can either be a cantankerous prick or a happy go lucky cheeky chappie depending on your mood, and of course, mine.

I inadvertently choose to make the week of my appraisal the week I tested my boss’s patience to the limit. I crossed the line in a meeting and followed it up by dropping a huge expenses claim on his desk for a team bonding session. Finally I decided to catch up on all the paper work I should have been doing for the last 3 months which I knew would cause him endless headaches with one of the big cheeses. I got a wrap on the knuckles for all three misdemeanours but don’t regret the team bonding expense. The other two crimes I need to learn from.

Football

What a treble of football matches I attended recently. It started off with me taking a few VIP poker customers along to the stadium of light for the game between the Boyle Sports sponsored Sunderland and their local rivals Middlesbrough. We got the banqueting suite, free food and free booze all day, a tour of the stadium and then a five goal thriller with Sunderland sneaking it 3-2 in injury time. The funniest bit for me was seeing the Camel’s 200 odd quid coupon ripped up into shreds after 3 minutes (he pessimistically backed under 2 goals, 0-0 and no goal scorer).

From Wearside I took the train the train to Edinburgh then onto Glasgow where I rested my weary head after nearly copping an totally unexpected result with a girl I met on the train.
Sunday saw me visit a ground and a fixture I had long wanted to see, Celtic v Rangers at Parkhead.

The Sunday lunchtime kick-off may have prevented an atmosphere at some grounds but not at this one. There was a fair amount riding on the game as well as the normal rivalry.
I have great friends who follow both teams; Kenny, Steve and CD are lifelong Celtic fans, He who is blessed and the lovely Laura Gers; I was in the Celtic camp.
I couldn’t bring myself to sing you’ll never walk alone, to me it’s a Liverpool song but I enjoyed it none the less and got a flavour of what it must be like at Anfield for their big games.

Once again I was rewarded with a five goal thriller, Celtic winning it 3-2, 10 goals in 2 games but I knew the goals would stop on Wednesday, I was off to see my beloved Chelsea play at the bridge in the Champions League 2nd leg semi final again our recent nemesis club in Europe and the team I normally loathe the most, Liverpool.

I normally watch Chelsea with my mate Tristan, he couldn’t attend but had managed to get me a ticket, it happened to be where one Matthew Harding used to sit, in the now renamed Matthew Harding stand after his tragic accident.




An emotional night, arise Sir Frank, legend.



It’s hard to describe the evening in words. Awesome sums it up best.

I have never sat in a seat with a better view for a game in my life and for that i cannot thank my mate Tristan enough.
I was right behind the goal where all 5 goals were scored and the penalty not given. The game and atmosphere were belting and we finally put Liverpool to the sword 3-2 after extra time. Thank God Benitez took off Torres; this bloke is going to be one of the all time greats. So another 3-2, 15 goals in 3 games and all the teams i was cheering on won, magic!

Fair play to Liverpool, their fans were in good form before during and after the game where we all mixed together. There was no animosity though some Chelsea scumbags sang a couple of songs that make you ashamed to be a fan of the Blues.
I did feel slightly for my Liverpool supporting mates. Bobby, Neil, Dragon Cousin Phil, Raymond and especially AJ. I had been giving my mate AJ some outrageous banter before the game and feared for our friendship had they had Liverpool done us. AJ takes no prisoners in the banter stakes and I had wound him up big style but he was coolness personified a couple of days later. So far every Liverpool fan I have spoken too has wished us the best and told us to murder Utd; I hope we don’t let them down.

Tomorrow is the premier league decider. I’m off to watch it with my old mate Benny and his dog spot. Obviously it’s Utd to lose so there’s no pressure on us but its squeaky bum time for them.

After tomorrow its all eyes on Moscow. Betfred are going 11-10 Chelsea (outright) and Fred is living up to his nickname of the bonus king, this is a life savings job.
We are most likely going to finish on the same points over the season. We have just beaten Utd 2-1. We have a stronger squad and a few players hitting form at the right time. It’s in Moscow so if there is any dodginess it’s most likely going to be in our favour. They have a few injury doubts to key players. How we are not even slight favourites let alone 11-10 I will never know, don’t say I didn’t tell you.

The banter has already started with my Utd mates with Faiz, Kelan, Chopper and Christy are all in my sites. I’ve already had a bet with Christy; the loser has to pay for a slap up meal at Shanahan’s in Dublin, I have been doing my homework.

http://www.shanahans.ie/winelist.html

Being the last day of the season tomorrow means it’s also the last time I and 4 of my best friends can make our predictions at www.predictthepremiership.com
What a laugh this has been all season long and the best bit is when you set up your league they give you access to your very own private forum.
One of my mates was rumbled for using Mark Lawrensons predictions rather than his own which led to this rather heated exchange. I have to save this in case they close the forum down tomorrow. Names have been blanked out to protect the guilty.

Not true, but he still keeps harping on about it......................Don't try that old game. You've mentioned my nipples now, you raised the bar. Everyone knows what you did. Disgusting, I’m a pervert but I never done nothing shady like that. Mate I’m scared to kiss ******** on the cheek
when I see you.

Anyway, that sounds pretty tame compared to the practices ****** told me Paul was engaging in London.(seems she had a van full of tools & clamps??).................Good try sunshine but you forgot, i don’t care. If that’s the worst stuff I was up too you know nothing!

Have those nipples healed yet?.......ha-ha, I might have over tweaked them last night, I was giving Mylene Klass a right seeing too into my sock last night.


Boxing

Next week another champion joins the Boyles stable, one Ady H. I worked with Ady out in Gibraltar with SJ and he’s one in a million. We spent one memorable summer along with the Dragon and Kevin OC getting totally trashed and I loved every minute of it. Times change and we grow up but worryingly only the Dragon remains at SJ whilst the three of us are all now at Boyle’s. Luckily the Dragon has just invested heavily in a restaurant out in Spain (good luck with it mate) so looks unlikely to join us in the ring for some time yet.


Ady as a child, i guess he was fighting an uphill battle.

Ady reminds me so much of another heavyweight, Bad Beat Channing. Both fearless gamblers they are anything but anonymous, I look forward to meeting up with him with both excitement and fear in equal measure.

Talking of Bad Beat he has just sent me on his WSOP odds which means next week we begin sparring with the punters. I will no doubt throw in a few ricks of my own and enjoy the rivalry between bookie and punter during the month long poker fest. I would ask Ady to assist me but this would be like asking Mr Fritzel to baby-sit.

Thank you to Tristan, John Richard PF and He who is blessed on their advice with regard to my financial issue, it helps to know the judges.

Fox hunting.

A mate of mine and I are chasing the same lovely lady. He’s got the years on his side but I’ve got the experience, I will of course let you know how we get on, its eachy peachy between us but the favourite is a 1000 on that we both end up continuing to get to tuck into bed alone by our Mothers.

Darts

As a thank you for all my tireless work (buying drinks and ordering meals from restaurants) after his Irish Open victory, Bad Beat was struggling with how to thank me. 6 VIP tickets to the premiership darts at the Odyssey in Belfast courtesy of Matchroom did the trick.

5 of my work colleagues and I went along and had a great time. Live darts is the best, 8000 people getting drunk and watching the pantomime unfurl on big screens as 99% of the audience are to far away from the action to see it., we will all be back for more next year no danger especially as we all made it onto the telly.

Boylepoker threw a few darts recently and hit the bull’s-eye with our sponsored pro Marty Smyth winning $250,000 (beating the ubiquitous Bad Beat Channing into 2nd). Marty is such a lovely fella you wouldn’t mind doing your money to him. The pair of them played an awesome heads up match which you can all look forward to watching on your screens in August. We also took a cheeky chance on another young gun that also made the final 6, well played Ryan, different gravy.

BadBeat won the Irish Open but Marty levelled last week.

Fishing

You may remember from a previous entry my mentioning Joe O’Neil and his paraplegic story. Well Joe works and lives with the other part of the dynamic duo, one Owen Mullen. I saw Owen last week and was told the funniest tale I have heard in weeks.

One morning at around 9 am ish the door bell was chiming away at their house. Both were in bed (separate rooms, their not that friendly with each other) and both were texting the other to go and answer the door, Owen cracked first. He was greeted by the postman asking him to sign here and Owen said he already feared the worst.

Apparently Owen is partial to enjoying one to many scoops, going home and turning on the shopping channel. He said he had already bought 2 fishing rods, countless tape collections on how to improve your memory and the complete set of cd’s by motivational speaker Anthony Robbins. After signing (he had already paid by credit card for his mystery purchase) he asked the postman what he was receiving, the answer? A home gym.

When I stopped laughing I sat down and began laughing again and have only stopped occasionally in the middle of the night to send him subliminal messages like ‘you need a Jacuzzi, pool table and a jukebox, it might be to early for the ‘you need a lap dancing pole’ text but you never know.


Joe and Owen, you will have to guess which one is which.